Medical Misconduct Memories

Medical Misconduct Memories

by Benita Blocker

Without warning, one firm massaging stroke of her thumb over my clitoris resulted in the swelling of my labia, the parting of my inner lips and the opening of my vagina as the speculum glided in for my pap smear.

The female nurse practitioner mentions my cervix is small as I am still trying to normalize my body's involuntary response to the deliberate intent of arousal that was initiated.

I kept my legs wide open for an extended period of time because I was uncertain if the speculum was still inserted inside of me. Upon her confirmation that the exam was complete, after my having to ask, I knew that such a deep and prolonged arousal did not sit well with me.

Nor did the casual conversation during my breast examination with a different male doctor during a different well woman visit.

Nor the discovery that the birth control pills prescribed for me by yet another male doctor who was later found guilty of a record number of sterilization cases involving Black women had purposely included me in his cause to eliminate as many Black births as possible.

All mental scars reminding me that medical misconduct does exist.