Signs of a 1990 Abusive Relationship

HE (my rapist)

(Partial Movie quote from Creed 2.)

This article supplements my previous date rape article. There were compounding flags of violence.

Body slam Attempt

I remember trying to resist him as he lifted me over his head similar to the ice skating couples except there was no ice.  Just a front yard.  He was trying to decide whether or not to body slam me to the ground.  I don't remember if my roommate caught sight of the situation or whether he had some decency about him. Regardless, he lowered me safely back to the ground.

Workplace Assault (Fingered in the the Hallway)

He took my virginity on a previous occasion. Therefore, for some reason, he felt my body belonged to him.  So even at the workplace, he took the liberty of licking his finger and then without warning shoved his hand down the elastic band of my uniform bottoms inserting one of his fingers in my vagina. I remember grabbing his wrist, but he maintained control of the situation fingering me from a sense of power not pleasure.

Headlock

A co-worker witnessed him putting me into a headlock attempting to choke me.

Money exchange

A co-worker witnessed money exchanged.  He told our co-worker that I was paying him to have sex with me jokingly knowing it was because he wanted me to cash a check for him.  (Reminder: 1990 timeframe)

On the way to the (rape) location

He said he did not know why he was so violent.  He said he asked his mother was there anything in his past that caused him to be violent. He said his mother told him "no." We even passed by his old girlfriend's house.  He said "this reminds him of the old times."

My younger self wrote very detailed notes.  As I read through the pages,  I could tell that I was clearly trying to sort out this twisted tale of a bad relationship. I even wrote that I could not do anything about the abuse, but I had every right to report the rape.

Fight, Survive, Live

I hope young ladies in questionable relationships see the flags that I refused to see. Your life may depend on it.

Prominence

If the person who allegedly committed the crime is from a prominent family, then they are likely to get a slap on the hand and set free like my rapist. (i.e. #MeTooMovement)

If an alleged victim of an alleged crime is from a prominent circle, then the alleged person charged with the alleged crime is likely to be made an example of regardless of the lack of evidence supporting alleged act.  (i.e. #exonerateMichael campaign)

My 1990 Rape Survivor Story

Chills went through my body as I opened the large reusable folder/bag to revisit a night that changed my life.

I was the Hendersonville woman (second degree rape survivor). 

And here is my story:

On December 13, 1990, the cooperative education students of DuPont (Brevard, NC) travelled to Asheville to eat dinner at Annabelle's in the Asheville Mall. After dinner, we all decided to go dancing at Adam's in Arden, NC.  We all split up into separate cars. I rode with Mark and before we left Annabelle's  he told the rest of the co-workers that we were going to get gas and get him a beer, and we would meet them at Adam's. Mark (age 21) and I then went to get gas and get him a beer.  We got onto the expressway headed to Adam's. He then asked me "was I ready?" I said "yes."  He asked me again, and I repeated the same answer. He then said "Famous last words" and immediately took an exit off the expressway.  I was wondering where we were going. I asked and he was saying just wait until we get there. We were headed to a residential area.  The next thing I knew we were going down a very steep hill and into a valley. I knew that I was not going to have sex with him in the car. So before he turned off the ignition, I said "Mark, I changed my mind." He said "it's TOO LATE." He turned off the ignition. He moved on the passenger side in front of me, and he said "you don't play games with me." He continued to threaten me by not backing off. So I said very strongly and aggressively - "NO. I DO NOT TRUST YOU ANYMORE." I then moved back in order to rest my back against the seat because I figured that he understood and accepted what I had said.  But he had not because he let the seat back and was getting ready to pull my leggings down.  I immediately put my left hand on my left thigh as a defense which I  used all throughout the rape.  Mark then told me to move my hand.  He told me to move my hand two or three times. I refused to move my hand. He then took his right hand and put his fingers in the joints of my left shoulder. He was hurting me.  I then moved my hand from my thigh, and he stopped hurting my shoulder. He was starting to pull down my leggings and underpants at the same time.  I said to him, "I don't have a choice?" He responded sarcastically- "you don't have a choice?" He finished pulling down my leggings. I then said "No, Mark, I changed my mind." He then said "I AM GOING TO FUCK THE HELL OUT OF YOU."  He started fingering me. As he began, he said "I hope this does not hurt you, but it will make it easier." A few months prior to this rape, he violently took my virginity. After he finished fingering me, he pulled down his pants and underpants; my mind drifted into helplessness. He reached into the back of the car to get a box of condoms.  He attempted to take just one, but he was going so fast that one or two extra came out, and he immediately put them back into the box and put the box back in the back of the car. He tore the blue wrapper off of the condom and carefully put it on.  I asked him was there any chance of me getting pregnant? He then asked " do I have a period? and I said "yes." He asked when was my last one?" I replied "two or three weeks ago."  He then said "THEN NO." I put my hand on my thigh again. He then told  me to move my hand.  He kept saying "move your hand; Benita, move your hand." So I would move my hand after the third command because I was scared that he would hurt my shoulder again. He started penile penetration. My vaginal muscles had tensed up preventing him from penetrating all the way.  My body was responding from the trauma of him taking my virginity a few months prior. So he started fingering me again. Then he tried penile penetration again. My vaginal muscles were still tensed. I was about a size 4 or size 6 petite in size. He told me to open my legs. He was still not penetrating far enough in. He then used his left hand to finish taking my leggings off of my right leg.  He bent my right leg up to hopefully attain a deeper penetration.  This did not work either.  He lifted by body up with his hands and let me down and said "this is about worthless." He tried penetration again. He was still using his right shoulder to muffle my mouth each time he attempted penetration to keep from hearing me express the pain that I felt when we were together the first time. He was not penetrating any further so he asked me in my ear while he was still partially inside of me - "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE FUCKED BY SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOU?" He then tried to force penile penetration by going in a vigorously circular motion.  It did work for a split second, and my body responded as if I had be punched in the stomach. My stomach suddenly contracted, and the air that was in my stomach rushed out through my mouth. At that moment, we both had had enough. He got back on the driver's side and propped his arm up on the window after he let my seat back up. The next thing he says " I was only with you because Monique(his girlfriend) was not getting along well right now." He then got out of the car and took off the condom and got back in the car. He started pulling up his pants. I began pulling myself back together. I was trying to rationalize the situation, but then I began putting it in the back of my mind. He then cranked the car up and we were headed to Adam's.  He asked me "do I respect him?" I immediately said "NO," and then I said "yes, I respect you, but I do not think too highly of you." (my politically correct nature kicked in)  He rudely told me to fix my hair, and he rudely told me to put on makeup. I told him he should be happy I was ever with him. He then replied "Do you remember when I told you I dated mediocre girls? Well, they would be 10's here So you should be happy I was with you. I told him he could say at least one good thing about me. He said "I was nice." He said "Benita, you're nice." He also said "I was too naive." I told him that I lost an earring, and he said "I had to find it because he had almost gotten in trouble before with his old girlfriend when she found one in the car that was not hers. But he told her it was his sister's and she had used his car.  I told him to stop by a gas station or store near Adam's before going to Adam's in order to get myself fixed up.  We stopped by Budget Rent A Car near the airport.  I got out the car and went into the restroom. When I returned to the car, Mark was not in the car. I looked for my earring. It  was on the back seat. I put it on. Mark came back to the car and drove us to Adam's.  I forced myself to act as if "nothing had happened." He told me to just tell them we stopped by his house to make phone calls. He put on a jacket to cover the lipstick stains from muffling my mouth. He told me " Not to become a whore." He told me "he hopes I won't say anything about what happened because he damn sure won't. We entered Adam's together, but quickly went our separate ways inside.  

Well, I told a friend that weekend about the ordeal. She made me go to the hospital. When Mark showed up at the hospital in his fraternity letters, it prompted his arrest.  

The rape never went to trial.  He had to complete a series of counseling appointments and the District Attorney dropped the charges.  Mark's family was prominent in the area. They did not want to destroy his life. That is how the cookie crumbles when it comes to womens' rights. I can only hope that I was Mark's last rape victim because clearly, I had not been his first.

#MetooMovement

Somehow, God still has a Master Plan for us all.  Tests and Testimonies.

My Lyft Rental Car Ten Day Driving Experience

Before you decide to rent a car from Lyft to offer rideshare, you need to know

10 days of car rental plus roadside assistance cost me $428.48 in Charlotte, NC

Lyft also considered my refund of $250.00 which was the car rental deposit as "earnings." A refund should be refunded.  

Calling my refund "earnings" and paying me out like a "paycheck" minus additional rental car fees is misleading.

So did I work giving rides?

Yes, 100% Acceptance rate!  Plus, I completed 40 rides in ten days.  That is pretty good considering Lyft gave me a lemon of a rental car for the first 3 days. The Engine light displayed on day 2.  Neither cigarette lighter neither front nor back seats would charge my phone.  The "transmission overheating" light displayed by day 3.  The owner's manual said "DO NOT DRIVE."  I also discovered on day 1 that Hertz roadside assistance is $75.00 extra per dispatch because I picked up a "drill bit" in my rental car tire creating a flat.

So the first weekend of driving was cut short because of Lyft's mechanical CAR FAILURE.

I completed 18 rides within the first three days with a "lemon."  Hurricane Florence came through Charlotte, NC the next week.  So I pick up this college kid who was a rap artist studying music engineering in Charleston, SC who was home because his college evacuated.  On the way to the ATM, the rain plus the dark, winding road created almost ZERO visibility.  It was a long trip.  He was being very dramatic.  He (the passenger Zach) even reached from the backseat trying to turn on my hazard lights.  Luckily, the rain calmed down after ten minutes.  He invaded another bank customer's privacy by running up on him seeking cover under the canopy.  Finally, after finishing his ATM transaction, he gets back in my Lyft rental car to be taken back home.  He is dramatic again worried about creek risings.  Honestly, he was probably under the influence of a controlled substance because Lyft "Trust and Safety" blocked me from accepting rides an hour later saying that "someone reported me for alcohol or operating under a controlled substance" at 9:30pm on a Friday night.  I immediately felt the college kid was the problem, and I went back to lower his rating to three stars so that I will NEVER have to deal with him again. Apparently, Lyft did not like me down rating the  passenger so they subsequently disabled me from being able to adjust the passenger ratings.

Notice: "Rating Not Available" - Rating ability was disabled by Lyft.

Passenger Zach did not want to pay for his ATM run during Hurricane Florence, and he requested two stops.  One to the ATM and Another stop to take him back home.  Apparently, he felt safe enough to get back in my Lyft rental car to return home. Lyft's "NO TOLERANCE" policy had me blocked from working for Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.

Lyft gave me a "green light" at 11pm on Friday night, but they never unblocked my account.  Did "Trust and Safety" take the weekend off?  My Lyft car rental charges continued.  Lyft did not give me any credit toward my rental rate.

So I was paying Lyft out of my own pocket for their Hertz rental car because I had not earned enough rides before getting blocked to cover the rental rate. So they took $97.58 out of my account to cover their weekly rental and they KEPT my $144.84 in earnings to cover the Lyft rental car as well.  Lyft is so greedy!

They only have one pickup and dropoff location in Charlotte, NC.  I have called and emailed Lyft asking for relief and rental credit.  They are being unresponsive.  I don't want to travel across town to be denied any credit.  My Lyft account was still blocked when I returned the rental car as soon as I could.  The local Lyft office questioned whether or not I had the car a whole week because they do not accept early returns on their rental cars.  I could not believe that returning the car had a potential to be an issue.  Luckily, I was at my one week period.

I am now reactivated to drive for Lyft. I just have to update my vehicle information, but I need Lyft to make this situation right before patronizing them again.

I had been a faithful Lyft passenger before becoming a Lyft driver.  Now, I suggest everyone to consider Uber.  Time to Move Forward!

Acknowledgement from the Supreme Court of Georgia

This was not the first time that I had written the Justices of the Supreme Court of Georgia.  However, this was the first time that I received some sort of acknowledgement back from their clerks.  I believe that we need to file a different type of writ.  We still have not found an attorney willing to tackle the "untouchables" from the Augusta Richmond County, Georgia area. We are at a standstill right now.

The #exonerateMichael campaign will continue.  The November 2018 elections will hopefully open new doors for us.  The existing system just does not want to correct this injustice.  Everyone knows about it, but it is like a "game."  Let's see if they figure it out.  Unfortunately, Michael can barely get access to the prison's legal library.  I don't reside in Georgia.  It is just ridicious that no one can help finish this process.  The regional exposure and restitution from the State of Georgia should be enough incentive to bring Michael home for Christmas.  Is there one?

Georgia Scandal Continues into Third Year

As the #exonerateMichael campaign unfolds:

November 2015

• DNA Report does NOT show a MATCH for RAPE nor Justification for Life Without Parole Sentencing
• Edward Tarver of U.S. Department of Justice is asked to assist in reviewing the situation.

January 2016

Tarver's Office says they cannot assist, but FBI Augusta has been assigned.

March 2016
FBI Special Agents Chuck McKee and Mac Butts visit Michael C. Blocker at Telfair State Prison.

June 2016

• Judge J. Randal Hall denies Michael C. Blocker's request to return to court. Case CV1:16-34
• Michael C. Blocker is transferred to new prison.

July 2016

• Motion for Reconsideration filed.
• President Obama sent letter acknowledging commitment to prison reform.

October 2016 

• $44k bank levy wipes out advocate (Benita Blocker's) living expenses before the overhead checks could clear. (NOTE:  Unless a 100k deposit was scheduled to be deposited, there was no reason to put a $44k levy on an account that never carries a balance unless you want to make a statement.)
• Jimmonique R. S. Rodger, Deputy Director of Georgia Public Defender Council kindly informs us that direct appellate rights have ended.

November 2016

Attorney General Carr's office says that they are opposing counsel and cannot assist in the matter.

January 2017
Ashley Wright is appointed Judge by Governor Nathan Deal.

March 2017

• Edward Tarver is no longer with U.S. Department of Justice
• Duplicate charges from 2009 legal lawsuits go onto Michael C. Blocker's prison bill.

May 2017

• Judge J. Randal Hall becomes Chief Judge over Judge Lisa Godbey Wood.
• Michael C. Blocker is transferred to a new prison.
• (A scandal within a scandal spirals out for about nine months.)

May 2018
Michael C. Blocker is transferred to a new prison.

June 2018
Motion to Dismiss the Grand Jury Indictment is filed for case 2007RCCR00181.

July 2018
Michael C. Blocker transferred to new prison.

August 2018
Michael C. Blocker is seeking legal assistance to finish up his release since he can not get access to the legal library at the current prison.

We are looking for 13 more signatures at
https://www.change.org/p/non-violent-offender-being-trapped-in-maximum-security-prison?recruiter=532225508&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=share_petition

My First Tea Party Experience

It was Ladies Day out, and I enjoyed fine china, teapots, table linen, and some English Southern Flair!  

The August 2018 menu:

All the food was very flavorful and rich!  The experience was relaxing and delightful!  The bookstore/Coffee shop location featured artwork from local artists so I did my own art crawl.

The tea service experience was provided by Lady Lillian's Tea.  Her classic and specialty tea services always include fine china with linens, scones, fruit, savories and sweets, and seasonal pots of  teas paired with the menu.  Cost: @$25 per person on average.  The portion sizes were petite but very filling!

North Carolina Lottery Scratch Offs: 000 and 001

Whether $3 or $10 ticket, the beginning of the lottery roll were NOT winning tickets.  000 and 001 were consistently NOT winning tickets based on my North Carolina lottery experiment. 003 and 005 were winning tickets. Also, 148 or 149 seems to be winning tickets.  So if you see  "4 tickets left," one of the tickets are likely to be a winner.  If you see two tickets left, then I would choose a different scratchoff game based on my findings on this experiment.

Lucky No. 7 scratch offs (May 2018 Launch date) and Block-O Bingo (June 2018 Launch date)